What does it feel like to be a woman? How do we define Woman? I am a woman, have been one my entire life and can’t tell you what if “feels” like. That’s because being a woman is simply an act of living in my earthly body. Women who are afraid of someone they don’t deem an authentic Woman, insist that they can’t call themselves a Woman, don’t necessarily understand what being a Woman is and what it isn’t.
I must confess, that when I was born, my father had passed away a few weeks earlier, and my grandfather had perished just before that. So my experience of being a baby girl was lived in a house with no men. I lived with my mother and her mother. Both experiencing all encompassing grief and both looking to me as a source of comfort, for the answer to the question of why go on (?), and both through the lease of womanhood.
I did not know that men lived in other people’s homes, I did not know that “fathers” were real because the only fathers I knew were on that little TV set. Handsome, only home after work.
The women in my home did everything. They worked, they took care of me, they drove, they shopped, they played piano, they tended to the lawn and flower beds, they cooked, they did it all.
My grandmother took me to her job at the FAA occasionally to show me where she went all day. She was the only Woman in the department. So in my mind, that wasn’t strange or inconceivable. And she never spoke of how that made her uncomfortable or held her back in anyway. She loved it there. She took great pride in introducing her new granddaughter to her co-workers.
She was a Woman. She had a closet full of clothes that were the same outfit in different colors, twenty pairs of shoes in the same color, a few handbags that were the same color and model, she got her haircut at the barber, she smoked, she had whiskey after work. And sometimes she cried when she showed me pictures of the husband that she loved more than anything who had departed just before I arrived.
I saw nothing negative of men in my life. And I saw no need for them beyond love. All the practicalities of day to day life were done by Women.
And so, when my mother married a Man, my step-father, I was uprooted from my life with Women. And I clashed with him quite bit because he thought that Men and Women were so very different. But I had no idea what he was talking about. And I didn’t like him very much. Most importantly, I never believed him.
And so I did what I wanted to do. I marched myself down the the ball park and joined the all boys baseball league and became a baseball pitcher. I joined the all boys football team. I joined the girls basketball team. I played violin. Basically, I had a great time in life, and it never occurred to me that I should or shouldn’t be doing certain activities based on my gender. I mean, why? What’s the point of that?
So, when I hear that people are chagrined by the notion that someone would want to be a Woman, I have to wonder what they’re opposed to? If someone wants to be a Woman, I say welcome to the team. There’s your badge, sign your name, and be proud. Because I have no idea what it’s like to be a Man, but also I have no desire to be a Man. I don’t see any real advantage.
I don’t see any limitations in the world when it comes to being a Woman. I know some people do. I also, know that some people have probably not chosen me because I am a Woman, for certain jobs or whatever. But I still don’t want to be a Man. I want to be who I am. But I still can’t explain what being a Woman feels like.
I suspect that it’s like trying to explain what love feels like. Love being the great connector of people, but it’s an emotion, and everyone can experience their own version of it. And isn’t that the greatest thing about love? I can love you, you can love me, but we may explain what the love is quite differently.
That’s what Woman is. It is whatever your experience of it is. To some, it will be love and marriage and baby carriage. To others it will be learning and challenges and reaching a peak. To some it may be a question an answer and a change. Whatever it is. Welcome! Woman is a good thing. Woman is a powerful being. Woman is all encompassing.
Maxamina Muro 